Y ; Monday, February 20, 2006.
its been 14 hours since he msg-ed mi...and here i am...still thinking whether i shud reply him...or ignore him 4ever?...i'm SO helpless right now...stuck..constipated...depressed...disappointed...dunno wut i shud do bout this...
y could he juz ignore bout wut he found out yesterday..and acted like NOTHING has ever happened?!
he found out bout my true feelings....bout ALL the conflicts dat i've been dealing all along..things dat i would consider as my deepest secrets...dat no other ppl except 4 u guyz to noe...4 goodness's sake!! urgh...
y could he say that "tml is a brand new day....4get bout it*...EEK!...things might be easy 4 him...but y he doesn't understand wut situation i'm in right now? 4get it...he didn even try 2 understand..
why he could say those sweet things when he dun even mean it in d first place?
why say those things 2 create more confusions....
why say those stuff when he himself understands dat he loves her...and only her...
it hurts whenever he talked bout her...
it hurts whenever he did not reply 4 few hours 4 no reason...
it hurts to realise that he didn even care bout my feelings when he claims that he do...
wth?!
guyz...tell mi wut i shud do....
tears are falling...
hearts are breaking...
troubles are doubling...
and the worst thing is...
u're leaving...
omg...steph...u made mi cry ler...
first the main page...then...wut u've posted...
i reali reali hav to thank u guyz...4 being there 4 mi in my coldest days....oways ready to guide me through it all...no matter how bz u are...how stressed up u are wif ur own life...u guyz could push it ALL away...juz to talk to me...juz to make me feel better...my god...no word could express how grateful i am to hav u guyz as my fwen...we've been through A LOT...and here we are....its been 4 yrs...4 yrz of fwenship...4yrz of sweet and sour memories...
chuin...altho we've made a big mistake in d past...but i hope from dat...we'll learn not 2 repeat d mistake again...life at australia could be great...blondes...hot guyz...*tits...butts..x.X!!* but could u rmb those times when we sat at dewan kuliah...with lights off...and sing our fav songs? could u rmb how we used to laugh and humiliate each other...bout those stoopid and crazy stuffs dat we did?
friends...its all about togetherness...i reali hope dat we'll stay like this...*besties*...till i leave dis world...i love u guyz...
very much o!!...=P
Lots of LuV,
-Chienz-