Y ; Friday, March 31, 2006.
OMG chuinz~!! I didn expect ur situation to be dat bad in australia...>.<...did u talk about this wif ur family? if they know about it...surely they would do something to make things better..u can't go on like this u know...who knows how much longer u nid 2 stay there..>.<...and one more thing...they juz can't treat u like u're their maid or someting....for goodness's sake!! i can't blieve it..>.<...plz tell me u're doing MUCH MUCH better the next time u post......>.
sowee 4 not posting lately...its juz...a lot happened lately..and i dunno how 2 put all of them into words...mhm...i made everything clear by asking "where are we now? where do i stand in ur heart?" wow..it takes a lot out of mi 2 send him that particular msg u know...and...expected...i dun get d answer that i hoped for...but i was realli shocked....that i haven cried after he replied...it was....a miracle...but mayb i've made myself emotionally prepared 4 all of this...since d majority of my close friends around mi are having major relationship and emotion problems...aihx...is this how life works? how everyone shud go through all of this shit 2 grow up? mhm..but now i guess everything is back 2 normal...no more messages 2 him...and i will live my carefree live...going crazy with friends everyday....enjoy my last yr in secondary school...
yeah...as long as i have real friends with mi...*like u guyz..=P*...nothing else matters..
LoVe,
-Chienz-
Y ; Thursday, March 30, 2006.
sorry guys.. i've been so depressed lately that i don't even want to step out of my room.. which has practically nuthin in it.. i juz stay in my room, lie on d bed, look at the cieling and cry.. mebbe its pms.. i dunno.. but i'm starting to hate my uncle and his girlfriend.. first , it is bcus they have sex all the time and i can hear it.. gross i noe.. second, my uncle is so bossy.. he just makes me cook and wash the plates all the time.. third, i cut up my finger really badly yesterday and i thought i might bleed to death.. ran around the house to find a stpd plaster with my finger in a tissue paper but couldn't find any.. so i juz let it bleed over the sink.. i tried asking my uncle's gurlfren but she like ignored me when i call her in the room.. shit!!! i am hating ppl.. i miss home so much.. by the way, steph, if u r swimming here, i don mind.. cus i'm going to swim back wif u.. hope u guys are a million times better then me.. i'm going back to cook dinner.. bye..
miss u guys A LOT,
Chuinz.....
Y ; Monday, March 27, 2006.
Hey. Is anyone home? Its so...dead in here. I can actually see dustballs in a corner. Sheesh. Chuinz, how are you doing? It seemed so long since you last posted. You alright? Don't make me swim all the way there to check on you. You know I can't swim. I'll drown in 3 seconds. Or is that your ploy? O_o"
Sigh. My grades are. Stupid. Plain stupid. I miss my Form 3 averages. Actually, I'm lusting for them. I want them back! Sheesh.
Well, actually nothing is new in my life. Nothing you all don't already know about. No new guy. No feelings. No sucky guys. No heartbreak. No nice guys. No happiness. That about sums it all.
Okay, just wanted to check in with you people. Sheen, hope you're doing well. It was nice of you to have dropped by today. =)
- S t e p h -
Y ; Wednesday, March 22, 2006.
owh shit...realised i did a big mistake...umm...steph...if u want mi 2 stop asking u dat irritating question..*dat u mentioned in ur blog?* well...i would stop...u'll be strong...and walk out from dis darkness...i noe everything is hard right now...but yup..i'm sure of it...don't u dare 2 say no...and ignore wut i've juz said...coz dats d way life works...walking in and out from sad times...juz rmb dat we'll always be here 4 u...
Love,
-Chienz-
Y ; .
reali sowee guyz...dun feel like coming on9 these days...don't know y...aihx...life is not getting any better...altho i've improved a lil in my exams...but looking at my friends around mi failing most of the subjects...i can't help feeling sowee 4 them...2day phoon phoon cried...i was shocked...really...she never cried last year...altho her results was as bad as last yr *no offense phoon..>.<* but...seriously...she was the one who always comforted mi when i got scolded by d teacher...or when i'm not satisfied wif my results...i guess its true dat everyone would be sad at times...aihxXxXxXx....exam brings more disadvantages!!....>.<...they should demolish exams!!..>.<..
mhm...don't worry steph...ur english is getting better and better...its impossible 4 u to disappoint shanti..>_>...then my essay would be better off be buried in a pile of shit...yeah...shit...x.X...
toking bout shit...my relationship problems smell like it...d stoopid feeling is coming back...d whole stuck btween friends and couple prob...i thought i've get rid of it...and make things clear...VERY CLEAR...wut why in the world would he say sweet things and do sweet stuffs...if he doesn't like me? i've told him...even warned him....not to do those things AGAIN...to avoid misunderstanding...but still...aihx...after all the trouble i took 2 make things clearer...its all in d dustbin now...i would definitely feel a hell lot better if he stopped messaging me...i would feel a hell lot more comfortable if he did that...coz at least he made it clear...that there'll be nothing btween us...but why...why he would msg me in a daily basis? pluz...it hurts whenever i think of steph's situation...so SO tempted 2 do something...at least something, anything 2 make things better...but its a matter btween u and him...all i could do...is 2 listen 2 whatever u hav 2 say when u're feeling down...everyone have to be tough...2 survive through their hardest times...dats d way to grow up...to understand the world better...u understand d "dao li" more than i do...right? and...4give me 4 being so rude at times...i'm still learning 2 control my emotions...and holding them down...is not easy...u know it...
and chuinz...hows life over there? made any new friends? mhm...hows ur studies? hard? miss u very much...but i think apo misses u A LOT...when u come back...we muz follow u wherever u go...even into d toilet...omg...dats too much...x.X...anyways...take care...love u guyz a lot...
LoTsA LuV,
-Chienz-
Y ; .
Sigh. I see nothing but a HUGE PIG'S post. How dissapointing eh? Ngehehehehehe. God. I sound like Wey Lok. Haha. Well. The real reason I haven't been posting much is because I've either been sleeping or watching TV. A girl has to keep herself occupied to forget sad stuff right? Bwahahahahaha. Naw. Just joking. Just been really busy with homework. I was up till 2 in the morning doing my moral project. Well. My fault really. Procrastinated till the last night to finish two projects but I still got it done on time! All hail The ehm.. Pwincess~! Haha. Bet you guys didn't know this. I've always wanted to feel like a princess. Even for a day.
Results. Suck. As usual. Well, I haven't failed anything. Yet. Its a matter of time. I'm sure I'll fail something soon if I don't buck up. Guess what. My English teacher, Pn. Shanti gave me quite a scare today. Swt. I consulted her about some mistakes in my essay and when she saw me, she was like 'Nian Ying, I am very dissapointed in your paper. Aren't you?' I was flabbergasted! I had no choice but to say something like 'Yeah, A little bit I guess'. Then when asked about the mistake I apparently made, she told me that she marked wrong and liquid-ed that ugly, harsh red mark on my paper. When she flipped my paper to the front. She suddenly said, 'Oh, I think I've mistaken you for someone who really dissapointed me! Actually you didn't do bad'. I was like. Speechless. Sheesh! Shanti is SO blur.
Hmm. I'd better get back to my homework. I just woke up to complete it. Sheesh. Its like. 4 am here. No wonder my sense of humuor is so twisted right now. Blah.
Would like to trash around in a puddle of mud and wrestle the pig - Chuinz,
- S t e p h -
Y ; Tuesday, March 21, 2006.
no new posts this time?? hmm.. u guys got ur exam results yet? good luck.. hope u guys do well this time.. if not, i can help u guys prepare the coffin.. hahahaha.. sheen.. i'm so happy for u.. but kenot zhong she qing you woh.. don't we have two more pigs missing? one named Stephanie Lim Nian Ying and another one i think is Lee Sin Chien..c'mon.. post sumthing.. i specially walk here 1!!! so disappointed.. haiz.. T.T..
poor chuinz..
Y ; Sunday, March 19, 2006.
假期又要过完了...这个假期还蛮开心的...只不过在家还是有点闷...不是对着那个电脑我也不知道我该做什么了...谢谢你们的祝福....爱你们！假期完了又要面对一大堆功课了...还有最惨的是考试成绩...我这次一定死到惨惨的...满江红了吧><....老公..我终于等到你on9了!=P...不写lu..要跟老公谈天了！再见！
Y ; Wednesday, March 15, 2006.
owh! i'm excited 4 u sheen!! after all the hard times dat u've had...u reali shud appreciate god dat u hav another chance to be together with him again...hope u guyz would be more loving as days passed...and hopefully...nothing to worry about...=)
mhm..steph..i noe u can make it through...this is not ur first time...and it will be ur last...blieve it...and it will come true...and...i don't wana ever u sign "never will be happy again"...yeah...dat..i dun wanna c dat ever again steph....>.<...coz u WILL be happy again...tons of happiness are waiting 4 u...again...hav faith and move on...i've survived through it...and i'm sure u can...=)...and u're NOT a failure...u juz didn notice it...dats all...don't worry...
chuinz...don't worry...i'm sure...very sure dat u'll be alright...u're juz homesick..everyone will go through d same thing when they're not separated from their family 4 quite sometime...i'm not saying that i understand ur situation...but...well...juz hang on there...i'm sure everything would turn out better...^^...
PS: can u whack dat habiba gurl 4 mi?..i dunno y i hav dis weird-hatred feeling 4 her...x.X..LOLX..juz kidding...dun wanna get u into any trouble in d 1st few months in school..x.X
Always here 4 you,
-Chienz-
Y ; .
Hey girls. I'm sorry for this long overdue post. Its just that, everytime I try to blog, I really, don't know what to type. I know you guys want some insight into my life, which is now crumbling into pieces. The truth is, I don't know how I am. I can be happy in a second, truly depressed in the next. I'm just, not ready to talk about anything yet.
I've been doing nothing but watch The O.C. on DVD. It rocks man. At least it captured my attention and helped me forget about everything while I'm watching. I'm totally in love with Benjamin Mckenzie! He's so hot! Guess its a good thing that I'm going to US to further my studies after Singapore. I get to meet guys like him. Hot guys. Way better than guys in Malaysia.
Chuin, don't worry about me. The him-me-situation, totally trying my best to get over it. I'll get over it, I hope. Anyways, Happy Belated Birthday. I'm so glad that I got to talk to you yesterday. Do you have to pay if I call you from over here? If you don't, I'll get this IDD phone card to call you from home. Yeah, I believe that you will be fine over there. You're Chuinz! Our big sister. How can you not be fine? Because you're damn fine. I'm freaking you people out now right? Not making any sense. Turning into a weirdo soon. We miss you too Chuinz. Come back and we'll have a sleepover at mine's or Chien's then we can catch up. Love you. =)
Sheen, congrats. I'm really happy for you. Stop beating yourself up over what happened in the past alright? Everyone makes mistakes because nobody's perfect. You wouldn't be Sheen if you were perfect alright. Treasure your relationship alright because you know as well as I do, it didn't come easily. Love you too. =)
Chienz. Thanks for asking stuff like if I was okay any stuff. I totally am. Just need sometime to register the fact that I can exist without that guy who melted my heart. I know you have my back at all times and I would gladly do the same if you need someone to watch your back okay? Get well soon. Again, love you. =)
For now, I have to go cook for my family. My dad hurt his leg and has to walk using a walking stick. I just found out about it yesterday. I feel so bad. How can I not know about that? I'm his daughter. I am such a failure as a daughter. Sigh. Hope you girls have fun because I'm not having any currently.
Never going to be happy again,
- S t e p h -
Y ; .
finally have the chance to seat down and post sumthing.. sorry for the delay.. anywayz.. thanx for the call yesterday.. miss u guys a lot.. miss u guys so much that i always cry .. so to prevent my eyes from getting more bengkak i am trying to find a job.. i am having a term break.. two weeks of holiday.. i hope u guys are well there.. steph?? where r u?! are u ok? din hav a chance to ask u yesterday.. heard from apo that u were sick.. and how's the u-him-thing going on? chienzzzz...... thanx for telling me how to read sheen's post.. :P.. although half the words appesr in ?form... > < sheen.. luv u.. must 'jian qiang' oh...
my god.. u have no idea how much i miss everybody back home.. it's a torture.. i hope the year end holidays is here now so i can go back and see you guys.. i'm fine here.. juz a bit lonely at times.. do u guys reli think that i'll be alrite here??! cus i'll nvr be alrite without u ppl.. muaxx!! Luv u guys..
P.S. Can anybody send me the pictures we took together?? plsss................... i'm desperate for it..
Luv,
Chuin
Y ; Tuesday, March 14, 2006.
我们复合了…昨天我们去溜冰….还蛮开心的.. 我一直找机会你能拉着我在溜冰场上溜冰……过后真的实现了..这次我真的会好好经营这段失而复得的感情了…昨晚跟你谈天时…我真的哭了蛮久的…原因是我真的觉得很内疚…好了好了…过去的东东我不想再提了…提到我心也很酸…最近跟你们有点疏远了..都是我不好…每次都待在班想跟他一起…所以下课没去找你们…唉..我真是重色轻友啊><…我真的没有隐瞒你们什么…你们每次问我做么酱的样子…我也不懂怎样回答…我只好回答我没事啊..因为我真的没事…我是个很静的人…你们全部不出声..我也不知道该讲什么好..我一直很努力的找话题谈…找东西来问你们…可是每次最静的人还是我…没话题和静都不是最大的问题…最重要我们真的是交心出来做朋友…我知道我们四个都有做到…所以我们问题并不大吧…只要我会分配时间..那天下课找你们…那天下课和他一起…就行了吧=P…倩也讲得蛮对的…可能我们偶尔都太忙了吧…哦…最重要的东东是…君…生日快乐！又老了一岁哦我们的大姐大…哈哈…老话一句..在外面要事事小心…大家都要好好照顾自己！我爱你们..还有我的老公,辉…muakz!
Y ; Monday, March 13, 2006.
mhm...its chuin's burfday...i wanna call u at 9pm juz now...it worked...but u didn pick up d phone...guess u were already sleeping...coz it will be 12am dat time...x.X...
its d 1st time u've had your 17th burfday over there in melbourne....how was it? did ur parents call u? mhm...i'm stuck with this stoopid running nose...been holding the tissue box 4 d whole day...even when i'm watching lost...aihx...screw it...
hvn holidays are not doing mi any good...life juz gets bored....urgh....now i missed those moments when i'm so depressed over stuffs...when i hav a LOT to think about...now its like...nothing..O_O...can't go out with fwens too...no time...dun think i hav d mood too...again...screw it...
sheen...dun ask urself to go die..>_>...dun curse urself....*altho sometimes i do..xD*...mhm...mayb chia mei is right...u would think u still hav feelings 4 him...when in reality...u don't...i experienced dat b4...when i was with adam...i was so close...SO CLOSE on d whole getting-back-together thing with him...he was hinting mi everyday...temptations was on d move..>.<..but in the end..i didn...coz i noe...wut has passed...has passed...there's no turning back now...and i agree with steph...nvr change on what u've decided...no...no way..>.<...
anyways...wuts with u these days?...i felt like as if u're keeping something away from mi and steph...whenever we're hanging out together...and asked "did something happened to u? u seemed too quiet...>.<" but u neglected to say anything...d most u would do..is to laugh into nothingness...x.X...where were those times when we were so close? when we could share anything...it hurts to see our friendship is going downhill...and we're all too bz wif our lives...god...but...i hope u would open up to us someday...let us know wuts happening to you...we would love to help you...
anyways...happee belated burfday chuin!! will try 2 call u one day...>.<...and make sure u pick up my call....>.<...lol...take care...and dat goes to sheen and steph to...
LoTsA LuV,
-Chienz-
Y ; Friday, March 10, 2006.
OWH!! CHUINZ!!...miss u so much....and OUCH!! how come life over there doesn't seem 2 be as good as we expected..>.<...and yes...backstabbing is common around there...but juz bear with them and get used to it...>.<...juz dont get involved into those stoopid cat fights...=.=...i'm sure i dun nid 2 remind u bout it...u're more rational then i am...x.X!....dat habiba gurl *wow...wut a weird name..=.=* reali juz leave u alone and let u *mi lu* everyday ar?...omg...dats SO evil...x.X...i can't blieve her...she'll get 2 hav a new fwen!!....won't she get excited or something?!...geez...wut a bitch...>_>...sry bout d language...but...juz can't help it...xD! i juz hope all of us are there....mhm...we would make a special gang in there....fight evil?...*XD!!!*
aihx..juz finished our exams....i think i'll nvr gonna do last-minute-study again...barely studied anything...i'm running out of time...pluz i dun even feel like studying...x.X...aihx...mayb i'll break my record this time...failing bio? chem ? or mayb even chinese...............
mhm...so chuinz...when u're reading dis post...hows life over there? getting better? any new fwens? chinese? be careful when u're in d train or something...30 mins is not a short period of time...=.=..omg...i'm starting 2 sound like ur mom....is that a good sign...or wut?...O.O! mhm...juz wanna say that i miss u...and thank god...things are starting 2 get better...*except 4 exams* but....4 steph...actually i'm kinda worried bout her...she looked tough....and from her looks..anyone who barely know her would thought dat she'd never encountered dat problem b4....but....u understands her as much as i do too...so...i dunno if she got over it adi a not...>.< steph...juz hang on there...if u nid someone...u noe we're oways here 4 u....and anytime if u nid a listener...we'll be here too...right?
PS: if u wanna read sheen's blog...go 2 the dashboard...where u type ur post...u'll c an icon named "edit posts" go there...and u could find sheen's blog...for now...dats d oni way that i could think of...x.X
PPS: how come u kenot post everything dat u wanna write in juz one post?...x.X...lol...
LoTsA LuV...<3
-ChienZ-
Y ; Sunday, March 05, 2006.
geez.. writing posts like this is juz taxing.. i'm going to go through this fast and end ur misery.. =) the following days are gradually going smoothly.. juz dat i hav everyday hitches like getting lost in between classes, forget my lunch, forget my books, lost my glasses, found it back, had fever for three days, get lost when coming back from skool.. thatz all.. nuthin new.. oh.. btw.. steph, i want ALL the photos.. which means photos i took wif u guys, wif my class, wif adeline, wif maple.. can u help me get it from them and mail it to me? i'll pay u back the processing fees when i get back.. ok?
The add is :
13c, 181 Exhibition Street, Melbourne, 3000,Victoria, Australia.
thanx..
its about 3pm over here now.. i havent eaten anything so i hav to get out of this stuffy place to grab something to eat.. i'll nag my uncle to get internet at home so we can chat..
ciao for the moment.. till i have the chance again...
Y ; .
ok.. 25/2/06.. bad day.. reli bad day.. although it is friday and i finally got away from that hell of a skool, i am aching all over..
the nite be4, i had to help my uncle move from one apartment to another.. this means that i have to drag my luggage and everything else across the streets of melbourne!! this starts from 6pm to midnight.. OMG.. that is the first and last time i'm going to move from one house to another like that.. embarassing plus tiring.. be4 dat.. had to ensemble 2 queen sized bed together wif my dad..
today.. my dad's leaving.. at the airport.. i couldn't help but cry.. now.. i'm totally alone.. i haven't cried since that friday when i knew i'm going.. but now, i reli cried my heart out.. my dad cried too.. juz d 2nd time in my life i've ever seen him cried.. then, we went back to the old apartment to continue moving our stuff out.. then, all of a sudden, a hail storm hit melbourne.. huge rocks of ice comes pelting down our heads.. i had to stand in the sidewalk to wait for it to end be4 i can get into the car.. absolutely freezing at that time.. well.. at least i have a bigger room in the new apartment..
Y ; .
the first two days of schooling is juz terrible.. the whole skool is juz flooded wif girls.. a girl named habiba is supposed to take me around but she says she's too lazy to do it so i got lost a few times..
i tell u.. gals in a big group like this is jua dangerous.. there are juz verbal catfights everywhere and backstabbings juz occour all the time.. things dat i hate the most is happening all around me...
ok.. these are the terrible days..
more to follow..
Y ; .
what the heck.. i spent one whole night sleeping on the floor for 3 hours and get on an 8 hour long flight.. longest nite i ever had.. dat morning we went to klia, checked in successfully and went to eat mcd wif mom, bro, maple and my aunt..
then go into the terminal.. stpd klia designer.. why make that big balcony.. juz the feeling of every1 standing ther looking at me is juz unbearable.. nearly cried but didnt..maple cried, mom cried, aunt cried but my cold hearted bro juz went back to the car and sleep(info provided by maple)!!
got into the right gate(thankfully) and started msging every1 dat i'm leaving.. Zheng wei called to say good bye.. then i nearly cried again.. off my mobile than went into the plane..
couldn't sleep when i got into the plane and the food was juz revolting(even steph wouldn't like it).. reach my uncle's apartment and realize my room juz like my house's storeroom(OMG)..
Next day.. went to get my new mobile number(0403325207) and to skool.. had to take 30 min train ride and an additional 10 min walk to reach the skool.. nice skool though..
ok.. next post..
Y ; .
Geez.. u guys seem terribly upset.. sorry for being away for so long.. i couldnt get myself connected to the internet.. in case ur wondering, i juz walk under the blazing sun for ten minutes to get to this comp!!! Bloody hell!!! i'm here in the state library..
man.. i'm crying in the public.. couldnt help it when i saw our pics.. lovely... can anyone tell me wat is happening? i can't read chinese wif this comp??
Nian ying.. don't be angry wif chao.. u noe him.. so shy when it comes to this sort of things.. anywayz, tell me when u find out.. i wan to noe too..
chien.. ur the best gal in tne world so don't get so upset wif that particular person.. life goes on u noe.. lots of other chances.. pretty gals like u always hav chances..
as for sheen.. i wan to noe wats happening!! geez.. stpd comp... can anybody pls tell me.. pls....
ok.. this is the first post.. i'm going to update u guys wats been happening this past two weeks over here..
good luck wif ur exams guys.. gambate!!
luv u guys!!
Chuinz~
Y ; Friday, March 03, 2006.
零六年三月三日 傍晚七时十二分
很想念你…但现在你没有上网..你在打球吗…还是在睡觉…今天下课时…看到你不在班…但你的书包却丢在外面…我就帮你拿了进来…很开心…因为能为你付出…虽然是件很不起眼的小事…但我却觉得很满足很开心…不敢期盼太多…本来昨天是想问你迟些说是几时…但我很怕你会觉得我很烦…所以就不敢问了…何况现在还在考试当中…所以都是免了…我还有机会叫回你老公吗…哎..都是不要想太多先…昨天在报纸看到一些东东…觉得跟我现在的情况蛮贴切的…那个报纸写…曾经有一份真挚的爱情放在我面前，我没有珍惜，等我失去的时候我才后悔莫及，人世间最痛苦的事莫过于此…别误会…我以前是真的有很珍惜你…..我觉得我现在讲什么也弥补不了我以前的过错…君…你在哪里啊…你还好吗…要跟我们保持联络哦…自己一个人在外面…要小心照顾自己…一切都要小心哦…我们很想你的哦=P…