Y ; Monday, May 29, 2006.
五月二十九日 11.22pm
好久不见…感觉大家最近好像不是很好…看到你们酱子写blog..觉得很不错…所以我也跟了….
君:
从你上一个blog..真的感觉到你超级想家…我想我现在也不会明白你那种想家想到很疯狂的感受吧…看了后..令我想到一首歌…. Michael Buble—Home….不懂你们有没有听过….我现在也是在听着…好享受这首歌…好喜欢这种曲…去下载来听看吧…功课很繁忙吗？老话一句…好好照顾自己…想你….
念颖:
你的感情世界怎么啦…你跟jon怎样了阿…还是一样？看到你的忠告了..我和他也知道我们不应该去到太远….我相信我们能控制自己吧XD….有一件事..你们应该还没知道..我们在学校已经不能两个人单独在一起了..上次给老师抓过了…然后也签了一张”和约”…如果还有下次…那就见父母了….经过那次后…我们都不敢上楼了..我真得很怕又给爸妈知道..每当我想到form3那时候的压力和没自由..我就很害怕会重蹈覆辙…其实我已经重蹈覆辙了…再次谈恋爱阿..只要不要给父母知道….怎样都可以…我真得不希望我们的感情会因为父母知道了而有很多问题…我已经学会珍惜和他一起平静的日子….真的..天天在班能和他有说有笑….我就已经觉得很足够了….好啦…爱你
倩:
的确…我们疏远了很多….我也很想念以前我们四个人在dewan kuliah的时光…我和你还有念颖真得很久没有好好坐下来谈一谈我们内心深处的东东…无可否认…我非常自私..我把所有的时间都给完他了…连好朋友也要靠边站…什么东东都是他他他….谈回你自己…你最近还好吗…我知道你又再次受伤了..但是好像有很多个原因…那个yu khim更怪…看了那些msg后…真得觉得在学校见到的他跟msg里面的他很大差别..还有最后一句sorry..更加怪了….觉得他好像是一个很好的朋友….不懂啦…我也不是很认识他…希望他对你的安慰有效吧…muakz…
自己:
嗯…希望我自己真得能把时间割舍给你们吧><….真的爱他爱到无可药救了..
Y ; Sunday, May 28, 2006.
Steph:
uh. i think its okay. its kinda hurtful at times.
but urgh.
i don't know.
i just hate how things are going right now.
its like the problem i experienced in f3?
something between you and me.
don't know. its as if its coming back right now.
well, not as serious as it used to be.
but. yeah. a lil bit i guess. >.<
Sheen:
you! i seriously have no idea what to do between us.
are we falling apart?
to be honest.
we seldom talked like how we used to.
never really shared feelings and thoughts like often we used to.
and you were the one who was the closest to me few years back.
mhm.
are we still considered as close friends?
Me:
seriously something has got into me.
i'm being weird right now.
maybe i'm not being me when i typed all that.
what caused that?
i don't know.
yu khim messaged me something really weird just now.
he read my blog.
there are things in there that i'll never bring it out in real life.
so i just kept them in the blog.
at least i have somewhere to keep it. =)
anyways. back to topic.
he went like.
yesterday you updated your blog right?
i know how you feel.
hope you'll find your true love in the future.
the way you express yourself,
i think you're very angry for what had happned
i know you won't blieve in guyz anymore.
not like its the end of the world. *i dun think i understand this sentence.xD*
you still got your friend,
and they'll always support you.
*next msg*
and about the poem thingy.
i only know he wrote you that.
*i think he meant, he only know about the poem he wrote me?
i don't really get it too.xD*
if i were you,
after i read the poem,
seriously touched by him.
*last msg*
not every guy out there is bad
i think you just need to wait for your faith to come back to you.
after i read your blog,
i've got this feeling that you hate guys like me,
especially my personality, i think.
and sorry cause didn't even accompany you when you're down.
and he said sorry. =.=
swt.
PS: go to "extras" if you wanna see the CHS idol video clip that steph's dad recorded in 2002.
Not being herself, but with love,
- Chienz -
Y ; .
Dear besties and all.
Today, your dearly beloved me, has a head-splitting headache. Lol. Getting a bit weird there.
Sigh. So I'll start off with Sheen. Haven't been seeing you lately, I miss spending time and talking with you. Hope you're doing well and I hope you know not to go too far, even if you both want to. Not now. Not at this age. Alright? Love you.
_____________________________________________________________________
Chien,
Sorry for everything okay? If you don't want to talk to peeps like Hua Bing, just ignore them alright? I don't like that you're feeling as if you're being used. I know I'd hate feeling like that. Sigh.
I think that you've grown a lot since that whole bastard thing. I know you're still hurt, and I'm here to help you through it. I agree with you. Screw guys and their promises. They're not real if they've had a change of heart. Which happens so easily. I don't think I can believe in them anymore. I don't want to. Sigh. Whatever laa. Let time do its work. Remember, I'll always be here for you. Heh. Freaky Thang~~
____________________________________________________________________
Chuin,
Sigh. I guess I still don't understand how you're feeling. I've never been alone, away from home for a long period of time. Sigh. Well, for a week or two, maybe. But NEVER alone. And with a pair of sexing-two's, I don't think its a walk in a park. Sigh. I'll be sending the pics to you on Wednesday, when Bala gets back. Swt. Well, what I have to say is, miss call me when you miss us and I'll call you back and ease your missing. Heh. By crapping. Which is what I do well. LOL. Hope you're really okay. Oh, and I really think that you should tell your parents about being homesick. They deserve to know how you are feeling. If you don't, they'll worry more. They will comfort and make you feel better. I promise. Thats what parents do. Really. Anyways, love you. Heh.
____________________________________________________________________
As for me, still having problems in trusting guys. Even though he is one of my childhood friends. Chuin, go see my blog. Sigh. I can't believe in love anymore. Its destroying me.
Falling into the abyss,
-S t e p h-
Y ; .
can we talk about mi first?
urgh.
i have so much cooped up in me.
i don't know to deal with which first.
i know how to deal with love right now.
i won't go after my fairytales anymore.
i won't believe in love anymore.
wait.
its guyz.
i don't believe in guys anymore.
when they say things.
they don't mean it.
owh yeah.
it sounds really real at times.
especially those promises?
lol.
yeah. those.
fake stuffs. only cheapskates would say that.
i gotta stop all that crap now.
these things never work for me anyway.
people just care too much about one's looks.
and don't even bother who you are.
=)
they suck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
urgh.
i felt so helpless when i read your post chuinz.
i've never experience what you're going through right now.
all i felt when i was away from home is :
"wee~~ freedom!! lets party all night!!*
*xD*
so, urgh.
i don't know what to say.
while we were talking through msn.
i was fumbling,
trying to find something to say.
to at least make you feel better and stuff like that.
but as usual.
i failed.
i don't know whats with me.
i can't help when someone's down.
all i could do is.
sit aside and look at them.
even if i get to blurt something out.
i doubt it'll be much help. =)
all i can say is.
we miss you too chuinz.
we'll wait for you! =)
my bed is here in my new house!
we'll have a gurls night in my room!
wahahahahaha~ =P
so hang on there.
we'll be here for you.
things are getting really messed up for us too.
we're no where better than you.
but we'll do this again okay?
like how we did when we were in form 2 and 3?
like how we went through all that shit together.
yeah.
everything's gonna be okay.
we'll do it again right?
LoTsA LoVe~~~
- Chienz -
Y ; Tuesday, May 23, 2006.
I have no idea wat to write in this post at all... my exams are nearly at the end... last 2 papers on thursday... I have no idea y but i miss home so much these few days... I miss home so much I dream dat I am back to my own room every night.. I miss u guys so much I dream of being back in CHS with u guys... I miss my family so much memories hurt me more than anything... Looking back at our photos I remember every sound, every smell, every feel and everything we ever did together... Listening to music, I relate it to when I've heard this when I was back at home...
All this hurts me so much I don't know wat to do... I feel so lost... I keep thinking that i might go mad before I ever have a chance to go home... I have never felt this sad before... This time, I know I am not depressed or sad... I just purely miss home... All I can say and think of is dat "I want to go home", "I want to go home" and "I WANT TO GO HOME"!!!!
I accidentally blurted this out to my parents last week and they got so worried about me... Haiz... I'll have to be more carefull of what I tell my parents the next time...
Things here have been fine... I was having mid year exams since last friday... Doing fine so far... stuffed up the chemistry paper though... but who noes... maybe other papers as well... but who cares.... nobody cares...
well... enough depressing thoughts... how r u guys? I guess u ppl won't be able to answer this question until the end of the exam... wish u ppl good luck from here... Can't do much other than dat...
Haiz.... I really, really, really, really want to go home....
mad chuin...
Y ; Thursday, May 18, 2006.
Yo. Duddettes.
Sigh, been a LONG LONG LONG time eh? Exams are next week. Books? Haven't touched them. Sigh. A lot has happened lately. I don't think any of them are good. Including me and Jon. He is so...............ugh. Don't know how to say it. He's even more irresponsible than me. Sheesh. Hope he makes the cut soon, so i can go over to the singletons again.
Sigh. I've got to study!!!!!!! Crap. Chuinz. How you doing? I miss you. >.<
I'm in no mood to blog now. Sigh. Will blog when exam's over alright? I PROMISE!
Doomed,
S t e p h
Y ; Monday, May 08, 2006.
-----------------MARCH BABY -------------------- Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others
---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.
---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.
------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.
LOLX...juz thought i would post these up 4 u guyz 2 have a look..cuz i've saw mine...and its SO true..xD...described mi in and out...wow...xD!
mhm..anyways...back 2 my life..
things are going on well here..u know..
sorted out stuffs wif dat bastard *endry*..
all thanks to steph...*cheers! =)*
and thank god..
there's dis guy whoz coming along...
he's all sweet and caring...a boyfriend material i guess..
and~ xD
altho we've nvr met in real life b4...*but we'll be going out 2 mv on next sat, 13th may*
and only then, we'll decide if he's 4 real okay? xD
mhm..i've had SO much fun in d past 2 weeks...been going 4 netball practises, hanging out wif friends there....and omg...i enjoyed it so much...they're like my family...another family in school...lol...i admit i love them 2 bits! =P...after mssd...we went 2 this ksn competition...its a open competition 4 netball..so u know...anyone could just form a group..and then they could compete...so we decided 2 participate...and we were there on the 6th and 7th of may..and blieve mi..there were so many cool teams in there...their skills, technics..wow...its an eye opener...but...but!! =P we're the noisiest team around...most semangat one..=P...lol...the referees, ppls whoz on duty...and all, lol...u shud c them, they were so funny...joked wif us and even supported us...well...some of them did..xD
and owh!! we've managed to play wif the ex-malaysian netball team u know...in the quarter-finals....the score is 46-1....well...its kinda heart-breaking...with a wing attack whoz not playing fairly wif rachel...and the goal keeper was so cruel on us...but god..i like d goal defense...she's d nicest person i could find in the whole team..=.=...she gaves us tips while d game was going on...and told d goal keeper 2 be more linent on us...heehee...she has a cute looking son too..=)
finally, mssd finished, ksn finished, now its time 2 really get my butt 2 stick on the chair, and STUDY!! >.<...omg...exam is like...2 weeks away? and i'm still feeling so goddamned lazy...eek! plz..i've promised my parents, dat i'll do betta in this term...to show dat coming on9 often does not affect my studies...and here i am...shyt...dunno how 2 start, dunno where 2 start...T.T mhm...steph? i really hope she's doing good there... her relationship wif jon is like on and off.. well..i'll leave it 2 her 2 tell u guyz more bout it...>.<
chuinz..dun make urself all stressed up lydat..
i know life is hard over there is australia..
but try to look into things from another point of view..
juz enjoy...and study at the same time..
i'm sure u can do it =)
LOL..chuinz..looking at wut u've posted..
i realised u've changed a lot u noe...xD
u starting 2 sound like my mother adi..=P
LOL...but u know...its okay...really..
i like it..=)
we nid a person like u 2 remind us on wut to do right?
to keep us on track..heehee...so yeah.
we love ya!! =P
Love,
Chienz~
Y ; Sunday, May 07, 2006.
finally have the mood and time to type an entry.. everybody seems so down these days.. i sorta was very depressed yesterday.. so i cried yesterday.. but i'm ok now.. tears drop when i looked back at our photos.. by the way... where are the photos i wanted.. so i can cry over them sooner.. and think of u guys..
璇，不要酱不开心啦。。 以前我姐姐也是这样被妈妈酱逼的。。 但是他最后也考得很好。。 所以你试看听你妈妈的话可能会成功呢？你也要知道今年是要大考了。。 他很担心的。。 这个考试不像pmr.. 很重要哦。。 不只是你辛苦啦。。 大家都很辛苦。。 大家也是这样读书的。。 前几天我在家也读不下书，又要考试了。。 我就天天背着超重的书跑到图书馆去。。 这是我读书的方法。。 所以如果你妈妈这样逼你行不通的话，你就找你能读书的方法。。 证明给他看他不必这样逼你。。 但你也要争气点，读多点书，用功一点哦。。。
wei.... how are the other two little piggies?? nian ying... remember to study oh.. chien also... but u guys oso don need me to tell u guys la..
i am having my mid year exam in 2 weeks time and i am already studying liao.. omg.. i am so different then wat i used to be... wat happen to my 临时抱佛脚 policy??! i am under a lot of pressure right now.. like u guys.. very stressed out.. like u guys.. but everybody must take care oh.. don study until sot diao.... we still wan to go holiday wan.. and i wan to stay over in chien's new and pretty house... (can hor??!) wat happen to your jaring match??mm.. since u guys din say anything.. maybe.. hahahahaha... or haven't start yet? don't play until get sunburned oh.. must put on sun screen.. nian ying.. don't think u r fair so don need put oh.. get skin cancer then u noe.. i am so chang qi today.. okla..say bb 1st.. dono when i am going to post again though...
miss people like hell.....
chuin....
Y ; Thursday, May 04, 2006.
终于能上网了！爸终于去加钱了….君…你最近怎样阿…生活过得好吗….功课很多吧…我们这里考试又要到了…所以压力也跟着大了….君在那儿有没有交到男友啊…hehe…我很八hor=P…..最近….我的感情是出了问题的….而且问题又是在我那儿的…我对他再次的淡了…他也知道了….他是真的很努力很努力地做出很多东东来让我对他有回感觉的…可是…这些却弄到我更抗拒…弄到更变本加厉…我只希望他做回自己…自然就行了…这个问题已经弄到我很辛苦了….现在…妈妈每晚都要看着我读书….我加倍的辛苦..昨晚就已经开始酱子了….读完后..她还叫我姐姐问我问题…我知道…我知道她做的这一切都是为我好…可是你知道吗…酱子看着我读书…我是很难读得进脑的….我只会很不习惯…你越逼我…我就越不做…不服从….哎…就因为这样..昨晚读完后…我就把我自己锁在房间里哭….把全部压力和辛苦哭出来….我唯有哭…我才会比较舒服….念颖和倩….希望你们跟你们的另一半天天开开心心的….还有君…要好好照顾自己….也希望我自己能早日走出我的感情问题….