Y ; Sunday, April 23, 2006.
hey chuinz! didn hear from you 4 sometime...hope things are going on well over there..^^
LOL...btw..hows ur uncle and aunty? lol...still doing their normal stuff? x.x
mhm...so hows ur sis? doing well in d nursing course? lol...
mhm..chuinz...mayb we shud give steph sometime...she's been having a hard time lately.
and she's been striving veri hard...to 4get...and let go...it eats up a hell lot of effort and time u know...so...aihx...i dun think i've been a good friend lately...i have so much cooped up in myself too...and i get really moody nowadays...its like some realli small matters could make mi angry too...i dunno wuts causing this to be happening again...and i certainly dun want to go back 2 how i was when i was in form 1...=.=...it was so freaky...and irritating..>.<
aihx...and basically we're bz with mssd lately...so stressed up with practises and friendly matches...i'm so SO tanned right now..x.x...i wonder how long will it take 4 mi 2 have d skin colour that i used to have....T.T
anyways...gtg now...i'm realli sleepy...haven realli sleep ytd night..x.x...stayed till 5am..>.<
kayx...take care guyz...
Love~
Chienz.
Y ; .
Hey.. hope everyone is doing well... sorry for not posting sooner.. my sis is here and i am buried in heaps of exams homeworks and asssignments.. couldn't breathe.. glad to hear dat u guys are happy with ur life..
Except Steph.. when do u wan to stop hiding in the corner and lick ur wounds.. feeling sorry for urself juz makes it worse.. remember u r d 1 who dumped dat guy.. get it over with.. u hav a life.. gosh!!! u r only 17 u noe.. life is juz starting.. especially this problem with guys.. about mel.. i dono how she has change but don u miss her? it is hard to live away from ur own family .. i gues u won't really understand how much ur parents miss her.. they are not trying to make u jealous, they juz miss her.. good dat u r applying for d scholarship.. i think u will do well in it.. don't worry.. about mr ho, juz ask if he has d time to do it... i don't think he'll mind.. he won't eat u steph.. haiz.. nian ying.. it has been months since dat thing.. he is not ur everything.. u r oni sad because u r not moving on with ur life.. it is time to step out of the box ok? hope to hear dat u r happier d next time..
chienzy...... where are u? and see sheen... nobody seems to be posting anything lately.. including me.. haha(sorry).. hope u guys are ok and well and happy..
love and miss u guys,
chuin..
Y ; Thursday, April 13, 2006.
Hey peeps.
Long time no see huh? I surprised myself by coming on too, to post. lol. See how good I am. =)
Hey Chuinz. The sexing-two getting married? Thats a good thing I guess. Not that they were living like they're not married to begin with. Only weird thing is that they're getting married so fast. So you're gonna be the bridesmaid? Hmm, nice gift. =) Works a lot better than ear plugs. lol. Erhem, I suppose you got the cotton as ear plugs idea from yours truly? heheh. You know, you're a penguin, you're not supposed to be afraid of the cold. Sheesh. I wish I was in a cooling climate. I perspire a lot. Especially during netball practices, kinda makes me lose my mood and strength to play. I suppose its just my mind playing tricks on me. Sigh. You were trying to get yourself transfered right? How's that working out?
Chienz, you gotta psyche yourself up okay? For mssd! The last official match we'll ever play again. We gotta win! =)
Sheen, seems like we're just seeing each other once a week in tuition. Somehow, it doesn't feel right but it doesn't feel wrong either. I don't know how to say this but just know that we'll always be here if you need to talk or just to be crazy with.
Hah. Happy. I still have a long long long way to go. Seriously.
Well, I'm applying for ASEAN scholarship. There's going to be a selection test in mid-June for General Ability, English and Mathematics. I think I'll fail. Crap. What a sight it would be. The failure big sister who never even got pass the selection tests while the younger sister rocks Singapore to the max. You know, I think I'm finally starting to get jealous of Poop. She seems so different now. Mom and Dad are doting on her like crazy. Its always Mel, Mel, Mel. I think all they can remember is Mel. I'm starting to resent that word. I remember exclaiming 'Oh shit, again?' in my stupid brain when Mel comes up in the topic. For once, just fuck off. I don't need anymore stupid jealousy or hurt in my life. All my dad is talking about is 'read more newspaper laa. Read so much storybooks for what?' Storybooks are my only escape from reality okay? I need a vacation. Bad.
I'm..still dealing with the pain. Strange thing is, it never seems to lessen. It just seems to get worse day by day. I've been crying myself to sleep a lot lately. The books probably don't help either. They're all damn sad. I read this book, where this little girl's dad leaves her. Her dad was the world to her. Like he was to me. She never recovered. She would get really nice guys but she would attack them with her tongue, putting them down, making them feel degraded, feel that she was too good for them. She would get bored of them and eventually leave them. There's a lot more but I can tell you that it doesn't end well and involved a murder case. I don't want to be like that. I don't. Everytime I look into Chien's, Sheen's eyes, I want to tell them how I feel, I want to cry and bawl like never before. Like how I do, alone, in my room. But I just can't seem to. I want someone to listen. That person who did that was him. I fell for him, because he would just listen to me and joke about it and make me feel better. Then I remembered, he's the cause of all this. You know what, I need a hug really badly. I've even thought of asking one from Kai Li or Chao but I think it would just freak them out. Don't you think? I need a new brain. One thats completely devoid of him.
Pulled into the deepest of hell,
- S t e p h -
P.S. Should I ask Mr. Ho for a testimonial? Its for my scholarship application. He scares the shit outta me. Sigh.
Y ; Sunday, April 09, 2006.
mhm...if they're marryin...then its okay lo...at least u dun listen to all "that" with no reason..x.X...LOL..u're getting an mp3 soon? dats great!...^^...i juz got one yesterday...my dad bought it from china...altho its a cheap brand..but its a rarity dat my dad would buy something like dat for mi u noe...X.x...but anyways...i'm happy enuff d...^^"...
owh..bout d pictures...steph is working on it...she's haven "wash" d pictures out yet tho..x.X..i'll push her a little..>_>...kayx...take care ya~..hope to hear u're doing great on ur chem test next time...^^...*good luck*...ciaox..
Love.
Chien.
Y ; .
mmm... to answer ur question chienzy.. no they weren't engaged.. they decided to marry and get married in a span of 3 weeks.. nope it is not winter here and i am already feezing.. it is juz autumn.... and chien.. it rarely snows in australia.. snow is reli rare here unless u go up d mountains.. maybe it snowed last year but i dono if it will snow this year or not.. about nian ying.. don bother her if she doesn't wanna come on9.. juz let her be happy wif wat she wans to do.. i understand.. hope u r alrite steph... be happy.. sheen.... 不要 忘记跟我留言好不好。。。 多久啦？写多点嘛。。。i am fine here... getting an mp3 player this week.. my own b'day present.. wif my sister's help of course... chem test coming soon.. hope it will be as easy as the physics test.. till the next post then..
p.s. is anybody sending our photos to me via snail mail yet??!
luv ya all,
chuin..
Y ; Friday, April 07, 2006.
O_O..omg..so fast?! wait..they were engaged a not de?..x.x...aihx..nvm lo...at least they're getting married...all of the "screwing" things that they've done wouldn't be a waste lo...xD!! *can't blieve i said dat*..
owh!! serious? ur sis is coming over? nice ler~!! after all the hard times...now u finally get to hang out wif ur sis...^^...not only u leh...i'm looking forward to it oso...LOL...i wonder why...xD!
mhm...is winter over there?..o.O...nice ler...frantically speaking..i've nvr see snow b4...T.T..how pathetic..hmm...the test is easy? omg...will it be easier than ourz here in CHS?..x.X...
PS: steph's not posting lately...bcoz her dad 4got 2 pay the internet bills...and bsides that..she dun feel like coming on9 lately...and u know wut...she's going 2 bed so damn early now u noe...like 8pm? sometimes even 6 something..>_>...can u blieve it....>.<
Lubb Eu~
-Chienz-
Y ; .
哇..听到君的好消息真的好安心..放心..还有开心!你那儿现在是冬天？我只知道你说你很冷…哈哈…wao..好久没post过东东来这里了…大家都还好吧…我这里一切都还是一样…很正常的…还是跟他在一起…念颖…你真的没事…每次在学校看到你是真的没事的…但看你的blog….觉得你心里应该是受伤了….哎…你应该相信未来会更好..未来有一个好男生等你吧…我安慰到好烂哦><…hehe…倩…每次看你的blog…都觉得你好像很闷闷的…><..对…无可否认….我也觉得我的生活也是很闷…天天都重复着一样的动作…做一样的东东….我甚至觉得天天酱子跟他在一起…真得很闷…但是我跟我自己说….平淡是福…觉得..我们换个角度来想…所有坏事情都可以变好吧=P….事在人为的….我们要往好的方面想…姐妹们..希望你们天天开心..心情愉快！muakzzz…
Y ; .
my uncle and his gurlfren is getting married.. shocking.. i noe..
they juz decided dis week and their marriage is like on the 23rd of april 2006... @.@
geez.. how can anybody marry in such a short space of time?!!!
anyway.. it is juz freezing down here.. it rained the last two days and i didn't bring my umbrella so i had to run back in the rain.. thank goodness i am strong enough and din get a cold.. muahahaha.. penguin is penguin.. so today i brought my umbrella but wth!!! it din rain.... qi si wo le.... my sis is coming down to melbourne next wed and we r going to hav tons of fun.. i hope!!! i cant wait to see her.... hehe.. can u believe dat i am now wearing a long sleeve shirt, a t-shirt, socks and glove typing away on the comp.. even though it is only indoors, it is like 18 degrees in here... tommorow is much worse.. it is going to be under 10...... T.T..... so cold.... i wan to go home.. where it is warm and cosy...
i am doing much better now.. though dat 2 ppl is still screwing each other noisily, i juz stuff my ear wif cottons.. hehehe... smart leh.. finished my physics test yesterday.. thought i would fail it but wat do u noe.. it is like d easiest physics test i have ever done.. one down one to go.. a chem test is coming up on monday.. i have to stuff my head wif chem facts now.. but u'll see.. d marks will be so low dat i'll be killed by my parents...
hmm.. this post is really long and happy.... wish u guys post more... have a nice weekend...
love u ppl wif all my heart,
chuinz.....
Y ; Sunday, April 02, 2006.
mhm...but seriously..i think u should realli realli confront all of this 2 ur parents..its not about talking against them...but they're ur parents...i'm sure u know they love you..and i'm sure they will try 2 do something so u could hav a betta live over there....>.<...
mhm...i think things are going on as usual around here...studies...sleep...and more troubles ahead us...hope u're doing fine over there..miss u a lot too...>.<...take care o...muaxXXXxxX! =P
Love..
-CHienZ-
Y ; .
how can i tell my parents? this is my word against my uncle's.. and i hav to stay here for the following year too u noe.. i don want to worry my parents or turn them against my uncle.. they cant do anything.. they will oni tell me to bersabar.. so there is juz no point in telling them..
i'll be alrite soon.. i noe i will.. so don worry so much ok.. thanx for being there for me though.. miss u guys so much more everyday..